Five Nights at Yeti’s

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I was at Yeti FreezeBare’s Pizzeria and Skating rink, and it was chilly. Strike that, it was Antarctic. A fan set to high blared cold gales upon me, and I could see my own breath come out in ragged exhales. My heart raced, or as much as it could in the freezer that was the office.

Yeti FreezeBare’s Skating Rink and Pizzeria had been a favorite childhood stopover for birthdays, and I always loved watching the animatronics perform. So when I saw an ad advertising a night watchman, I thought it might be kind of fun.

At least, that’s what I had told the hiring manager, a Danuki who was so draped in purple I almost called her Grimace. I had only gone to Yeti FreezeBare’s Pizzeria and Skating rink a few times as a child, memorably for my cousin’s birthday, the one where he threw up while I was eating Resees Pieces. Never could eat them since then.

But being creative on a job application was necessary, as I lived in Dickensian poverty. Life had not been kind. A bitch mother and an absent Dad living across the country had left me realizing that no one, truly, cared about anybody else. I learned that from nights of putting myself to sleep while my mom lounged in bed, of getting made fun of because I went to school with dirty clothes because my Mom hadn’t done laundry.

But things had stabilized I found a few other people who knew how bad it was, and I survived. We survived. Then the portal opened, and monster women came through. They brought with them lots and lots of rape. Ninety-nine out of one hundred people would tell you it was a good thing, the remaining people were like me. I had it all figured out; there was a lot of propaganda about how wonderful monstergirls and monsterization was and had been, but it had all been lies. Just like the previous society, it was well and good if you swam with the stream. But go against the current, and it got nasty quick.

The new society was structured so that men were encouraged to get a waifu, and things got increasingly harder the longer that you went without one. It was hard to find a job where your main function wasn’t to breed one of your co-workers. And if you wanted a different kind of life, a life of solitude and quiet, they were going to make it difficult for you.

One by one, I watched my old friends fade away, to romance, dalliances, and full-on rape. The worst part was how, to a man, they betrayed all our ideals, and said they were happy. In my opinion, they had given up, and accepted lies in order to stay fed. Comfort over the truth.

I kept looking for signs of their misery, signs that they knew this new society was as broken as the old one, and that they were surviving. A sign that they knew none of these monster women really cared. The other shoe would drop eventually, and we would be TV dinners like in the Twilight Zone episode. My friends had known that at one point, but not anymore. Now they very vociferously told me that wasn’t the case. They’re just good, they told me. That terrified me even worse. The pleasure had brainwashed them.

You may think I was cynical or pessimistic, or even an edge lord. But one thing I knew, from days of being curled up in a ball in a dark bedroom, was that no one cared. When you most needed a hug, there would be only coldness. If life raised you high, it was only so it could revel in watching you scream as you fell.

I was the only one who hadn’t fallen, who had secreted myself away and took what jobs I could that would not catch the eye of a powerful monster-woman. My former friends all tried to tell me that I should just settle down. I told them they had changed, not me. I broke contact with all of them. I was alone, but that was okay. The world is cold.

I was feeling quite dignified and pleased with my independence, until I got dressed in my flimsy summer uniform. It was somehow thinner than paper, of even less thickness than the bib they give you when you order a lobster.

Everyone was gone when I arrived at the Pizzeria, which I considered perfect. I wished to be left alone, or rather, I was content not to let more people near me. People will let you down. They will let you go.

The security office was a small room with a cluttered old desk on one wall and two doors on opposite walls to its left and right. It was, as my new boss said, rather brisk in there.

A phone on the desk rang, and the machine picked up.

“Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. So, um…welcome to your first night of employment as a watchman here at Yeti FreezeBare’s Pizzeria and Skating rink,” a man said through the phone in deadpan. “You may have noticed it’s a bit cold. Well, our AC unit is stuck on, and the heat is out. It, um, gets really cold in here, and you may have noticed that our uniforms aren’t very thick.”

I had to acknowledge that, as I rubbed my arms to give them a brief flicker of warmth. My uniform was extremely ill-suited to this temperature. I could see my hairs standing on end. Frost had formed on the thermometer in the corner, and I couldn’t even see the temperature. Why did my new boss insist I wear this? Was it part of the cruelty of mamono?

I heard noises in the hallway, a kind of giggling. I wasn’t sure I liked that. The owner, that Danuki all in purple named Willow Afton, had told me about roving ‘animatronics’ at night. She was a strange woman. I got the idea she was looking at me like I was food. She said the animatronics were nothing to worry about, but I didn’t trust her. But I needed money; my landlord was probably the only person on earth more bitter than I was, and he was angry that I was two months behind.

Yeti FreezeBare, Boonie the Bunyip, and Coco the Cockatrice where on the stage, the ‘cherished’ figures of my childhood. Fawes the Pirate Kitsune was in her own special pirate cove, the addon character considered a Scrappy Doo by purists. There was also a rumored ghostly animatronic, Lemon Yeti. It was Lemon Yeti who, of all of them, filled me with the greatest terror, staring forward with those black eyes and that little tophat. I was fearful of being offered one of her yellow snowcones…

“Um, so one thing to know is that our animatronics kind of move around at night. And they also aren’t animatronics,” Phone Guy said.

I had only been here twenty minutes and I had figured this out. They tended to shift about impatiently, for one. Boonie also snuck off to the Ladies Room at one point. And when Coco was walking like a Frankenstein Monster about the stage and saying “beep boop, I am a robutt,” she stubbed her toe on a speaker on the stage. She swore loudly and grabbed her foot, hopping about as the others stared at her and tried to shush her without me seeing.

“You didn’t probably realize this based on the ad in the paper, or from talking to The Boss, Ms. Afton, but, well…you are the main attraction here at Yeti FreezeBear’s Pizzeria and Skating Rink.”

I blinked, and leaned in to the phone.

“Willow Afton is actually Willow Wanka, celebrated Danuki pornographer and match maker. Her speciality is survival horror themed pornography and fulfilling erotic fantasies with recalcitrant young men. The girls playing the animatronics this week have all paid her for the right to…well…it’s awful hard nowadays to snuggle a cold man, what with how we have all our clothes and heating systems and such. The girls are here to snuggle a freezing cold security guard, and well…heat him up.”

I clenched my fist, my teeth, and my buttocks. I knew it. Even when I clearly didn’t know it, I knew it. Why did I keep getting tricked when I was so damned paranoid?

“Now you may be saying, ‘well what’s the issue? And in that case, I’ll tip my hat to you, and wish you a happy honeymoon. But the thing is that Willow will only pay you for every night that you aren’t cuddled. And if you lose your um…virtue, you will be fired, as she will consider her work done since you are married..”

I growled. I felt a hot rage inside me. Not outside of me, of course, because I was fucking freezing. I went to the doors and shut them.

“Now you probably shut the doors, but you don’t really want to do that. You only got so much power, after all. Although the power is only for the doors and the camera. The AC is run off of a nuclear reactor in the basement. Some crazy Gremlin contraption. A baph got lost and went down there once, and came back mutated with the biggest fucking tits you can imagine. I nearly fainted. Anyways, Check your cameras, only shut the doors when necessary. I’ll um…we’ll chat tomorrow. Try not to stamp your feet or give any indication that you are cold. The girls get excited when they hear that.”

There was a click as the phone hung up, and I was alone. My first night began. I liked this. It was honest. I was in a freezing cold room with the world trying to get in my shit. Despite the cold, I pushed on.

Mostly I spent the night checking the cameras, watching as four monstergirls pretended to be robots unconvincingly. It was pretty goddamn creepy though, sitting in the dark among the whirring fans and ducts. And it was cold, so very, very cold. Boony the Bunyip made a few moves towards the doors, but I was able to shut them when she came near, and she left shortly after I did so, making sure to voice her displeasure that I was not just letting her in.

Coco stayed with the others. In fact, she seemed less interested in getting me than in getting me petrified so one of the other girls could get me. I soon determined that she was married, and here to help one of her friends. Not being as fluffy as the others, she was in a heavy parka. I would have given my left testicle for something half as thick. Instead I shivered in the honest darkness, telling myself this was the way the world worked.

Fawes the Kitsune Pirate needed the most attention. She would move if I wasn’t looking at her, and she could hit the door really, really hard, which as I discovered drained my power.

Yeti FreezeBare seemed very simple, but also…rather nice, bringing the others refreshing drinks. She also tended to Coco’s foot. She couldn’t help but wave enthusiastically at the camera, either. When I looked into her eyes, bright and shiny even in grayscale, something stirred in my chest. I suddenly felt quite warm. I shook my head free of such thoughts. Yeti were famous for looking cozy and inviting, but it was all a trick.

The first night drew to a close. Coco appeared at the right hand door, which I shut. A moment later I heard someone approaching down the left hall. I raced across the room and shut that door as well. The looming figure didn’t leave, but knocked gently on the door. I turned on the lught, and saw the large, muscular form of Yeti in the light.

“Excuse me, Mister Stephen?” Yeti asked, tapping on the glass gently and waving with a big smile.

I frowned. “How do you know my name?” I asked.

“Your nametag,” she said. “Can I come in?”

“No, go away,” I said, resisting the urge to look down at my shirt.

Yeti’s eyes became sad. They were deep blue, and even in the unflattering light I had to admit they looked like the sky on a cloudless winter day. “But you look so cold…” she said.

“You’ll never guess why,” I said with a shiver.

“I’m very warm,” Yeti said. She opened her furry arms, showing me brown skin covered with a skimpy white fur bikini. I had to admit that she had a nice figure – full breasts, and wide hips. She was muscular and slightly thicc, like the girls I used to think about before I went NoFap. And sweat -actual sweat- was on her dark skin. “The solution seems obvious.”

“I don’t need charity,” I said. “I can make it on my own.”

“But why? Why not take a helping hand?”

“I’m a misanthrope, I guess,” I replied.

She looked puzzled. “…I-if I hang some above the door, you’ll kiss me?” she asked full of hope.

“Not mistletoe. A misanthrope. It means-well, never mind,” I said.

“Where can I find misanthrope?” She pressed.

“It isn’t an object, it’s me. It means I don’t like Humans very much.”

She looked shocked. “But you’re a Human! You don’t like yourself?”

“Of course I don’t,” I said. “I mean…well, what’s so great about Humans, eh?”

“They are so cuddly…” Yeti said.

“Really? Do I look cuddly to you?”

“YES!” She shouted.

“Better question: is there anybody you wouldn’t cuddle with?”

“I’ve never really thought about it before,” she said. She put a paw to her chin, pondering my question. “I guess I wouldn’t cuddle someone who ate people’s faces or something.”

“Well darn, cause that’s what I do,” I said sarcastically. “I kill hobos and bite their faces off after taking bath salts. Too bad, because we really could have hit it off…”

She smiled at me. “I’ll make an exception for you,” she said. “Because you have such cute eyes…”

I reeled. I knew it was an empty flattery, but it felt so, so good to hear someone say it. Despite the cold I felt my face grow warm. “Oh…um…it-it isn’t my eyes that look good, because, w-well, you know, because…”

The lights went off. I heard the fan on the desk power down. To my horror I realized this simple yeti had outsmarted me, gotten me to blab and waste power with both doors shut. The door rose. There was suddenly nothing between me and Yeti. I could feel the soothing warmth radiating from her, and see the faint outline of her form, the fog rising from her breath. I backed away. How could I have been so stupid?

“~Doo doo doo doo doo Dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo~…” she hummed in tbe dark, ending with a giggle.

“No, don’t!” I pleaded.

In the darkness I saw a big grin of white teeth. The dark shape loomed over me ominously. I heard the chiming of bells, and the cheering of children. The clock went from 5:59 to 6AM. The lights powered back on.

“Well, that was fun!” Yeti said. “I was nervous, you know, but it was good to get to know you a bit, and see if this vacation package was worth it.”

“And…?” I asked, still wondering if -and nascently hoping that- I would get high-impact cuddled.

She smiled. “You are cold, and you need to be warmed up, Stevie. I’m looking forward to this week,” she said with a big smile. She waved at me enthusiastically. “See you tomorrow!”

Because I hadn’t been snuggled, I got my daily pay, meager though it was. I brought my cold body to the grocery store and bought myself some food: ramen and peanut butter. I was able to give the landlord the last of my paycheck, and that satiated him…for the day. I wolfed down my simple meal in my squalid studio apartment, and crawled onto my bare matress as the sun approached midmorning. I felt little relief from the cold of the night before.

My afternoon shower had no heat, that bill having gone unpaid for two months, and so I got no respite from the misery. My trip into work had me dodging rape on a subway. The Pizzeria seemed even colder on the second day. I was hoping I might grow used to it, but I think the cold had been intensified. The fan on the desk blew a wind that felt like needles against my face. I trembled in my chair.

Phone Guy wasn’t there, nor did he call. I learned from newspaper clippings on the desk that he had been married to a top-heavy baphomet for close to two years. Willow had the same message play every time she got a new guard. As usual, I was alone, left to fend against the world by myself. I settled in to my cold vigil.

I started to learn the girl’s habits. Boonie liked to get into vents, and seemingly could show up just about anywhere, but always attacked from the left-hand side of the office. A couple times I had seen the glint of dark eyes peering at me from the hallway, and when I hit the light switch I saw her there. I realized Boonie was simply watching me, coiled about herself in her fluff, watching with a grin. Waiting. I would slam the door shut, and she would giggle.

Coco would wander places in her big thick parka, and had a tendency to knock things over with her bird feet and then hastily set them back up again. She also kept calling her husband and asking him how the kids were.

Fawes…Fawes was nuts. Moreover, being a seven tail kitsune I was pretty sure she could just magic me and I would be screwed, but she seemed too into the larp of being a pirate for that. She wanted me to stare at her camera so she could do a spirited rendition of the theme to SpongeBob SquarePants, or else she’d charge me. She might rape me if given the opportunity, where it seemed like Boonie was content to creep me out and Coco wanted to petrify me for Yeti.

Speaking of which, Yeti was just too sweet to attack me. She’d always wait outside and knock on the door frame and ask to come in. I’d slam the door and she’d say something homey and happy that always made both my eyes roll and my heart leap in my chest.

At 5:50AM, I became aware there was an impromptu meeting on the stage. The four ‘animatronics’ were gathered together. Yeti was in the middle, the others were facing her in a half circle.

“Yeti…you aren’t getting the point of this,” I heard Coco whisper. “You are supposed to sneak in his office and jumpscare him half to death, then rape his freezing ass. We’re setting you up, you need to make the basket.”

“That just doesn’t seem to be the Yeti FreezeBare way…” Yeti said.

“Not the FreezeBar…one of her songs is ‘Rape Him While He Shivers’, Edy!” Boonie exclaimed. “Didn’t you ever go to a Yeti FreezeBare Pizzeria and Skating Rink before?”

“As it happens, no,” Yeti said, “they didn’t have them in the mountains.”

“Wait, if you’ve never been to one…” Coco said, her face contorted into a full frown. “Why did we sign up for a week here?”

Yeti rubbed her arms. “The ad said a cold man…” she protested as the others rolled their eyes and threw up their hands. “I have to give a cold man hugs!”

“I knew it. We should have done Him-a-layin’ Hijinks…” Boonie said.

“I told you, I am NOT sitting on a flight with Edy again. Last time, a man kept insisting that she was trying to get on the wing of the plane,” Coco said.

“Besides, I’m really happy we came here,” Yeti said. “I’m really happy we chose this place, and..and this guy. He’s cold in just the right way. It’s the kind of cold that needs the most warming. I just want to go at my own pace, and his.”

“Well my pace is never,” I muttered at the monitor before a shudder from the cold made me almost drop it.

“Oooooh, ya best be widening yer gait, ya big furry varmint…” Fawes said.

“You’re doing Yosemite Sam again, Claire,” Coco said.

“Fiddlesticks!” Fawes exclaimed in a very high, girly voice. “I keep getting it wrong…let me try again,” she cleared her throat. “ARRRRR, Yeti! Beware the curse of the Lemon Sasquatch! She be lurkin in the dark places they say, eager ta drag a man to the back rooms and force ’em to eat her lemon snow cones o’ dubious origin…”

I shivered, and not from the intense cold. Not the dubious lemon snow cone! Anything but the dubious lemon snow cone!

“How can Willow Wanka do such a thing?” Yeti asked.

“Thar be doubloons in that type o’ pornography. Many’s the girl, the proper kinda lady o’ charm and sophistication, who might want to just hold her man down, and force him ta drink her yellow stream…” Fawes began to drift off.

The others stared at her.

“It be just a fantasy!” Fawes shouted defensively. “I suppose ye all be choir boys, eh?”

“Choir boy? Now THAT was a good fantasy…” Coco said. “Getting a shy tenor and fucking him till he sings baritone…best night of my life.”

“Mmmmm…” Boonie said. “When it’s my turn, I want to go the old west, and find a grizzled cowboy sitting on a log strumming a guitar and singing songs about Hellwans sexing up outlaws. I’ll ambush him, coil my fooflesnake around him, and fuck the hell out of him. Then I’ll cook him dinner and become his Trail Wife, and he can chase me around the campfire and we’ll tickle each other and laugh.”

“It’ll happen. Miss Wanka said she’d fulfill all our fantasies,” Yeti said.

“Right, and this is supposed to be your fantasy, Edy,” Boonie said. “And you haven’t even…”

“Right, it’s my fantasy, so it’s my rules,” Yeti said. “I want to do this my way.”

“And that’s fine, but you need to do it before that yellow yeti makes him eat her frozen piss,” Coco said.

“We don’t know for sure that it’s…” Yeti began

“Oh come on, it has to be!” Boonie shouted. “Where is she getting lemons from, hmmm?”

This was a very good point, and I began to scan for any sign of the Lemon Yeti. They said if I saw her poster on the camera I should make sure to look somewhere else before going into the office. The whole thing was nonsensical and maybe it was an urban legend, but it still scared the hell out of me.

I was so engrossed in my search that I was startled by a knock on the door frame. I lowered my monitor. In the dark outline of the doorway was Yeti’s powerfully large shape. It was slightly unnerving, but she raised a hand and waved nonthreateningly.

“H-hi,” she said. “Can I scare you and hug you?”

I slammed the door shut.

“I’d rather you didn’t, Yeti,” I said.

She looked so sad I almost opened the door for her. “Okay, I guess. But you’re so cold…”

“That’s my problem, not yours,” I said.

“But it is my problem. I can’t stand watching you shiver when I am almost sweltering. You are a nice guy…”

“How can you say I’m nice? I shut a door in your face. I’m a jerk,” I said.

“You’re tsundere,” she replied with hearts in her eyes. “It just means it’ll sweeter when you open up and gush out love everywhere.”

“Men can’t be…that isn’t how it works…” I stammered. “I-It isn’t like I like you or an-Goddamn it!”

She laughed triumphantly. “So tsundere. It’s inevitable. Now open the door. My dinner is getting cold.”

My pelvis seemed to pick up on the fact that it was being referred to, and the little traitor between my legs began to stiffen.

“No, Yeti…hey, what’s your real name, anyways?” I asked. “I heard them say…Edy?”

“Everybody calls me Edy.” Yeti said. “My full name is Edith.”

“Edith…that means blessed war,” I said.

“Mama said it means rich war. You know my name’s meaning?”

“I’ve always had an interest in names,” I said. “I’m always curious how much we live into our names.”

“What does your name mean?” She asked.

“Mine? Stephen means crown, or wreath,” I said. “Literally it is ‘that which surrounds’. Surrounded would be more apt for me.”

“Because you are in a cage with mamono trying to hug you?”

“Because it’s always been like this. My whole life the world’s been trying to break in to fuck with me, to make sure whatever I’ve got, it can take.”

“I think it means you are going to be a hugger,” Yeti purred. “You will surround with your arms. As for being surrounded, soon enough you will be surrounded by layers of yeti fur.”

I sighed. “Edy…” I began.

The doors went up as power failed. The notes chimed, and the children cheered. It was 6AM.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” she said with a friendly wave. “I’ll see you, Stephen.”

A second day had come and gone, and I collected my pay. I left, and despite myself all I could think of was Edy, or Yeti. Yeti’s eyes, Yeti’s smile, and Yeti’s warmth. I thought about Yeti as I went to bed, and absently ended 12 days of NoFap in my groggy state. When I realized what I had done, I punished myself with a cold shower. The world is cold, I told myself. There are no hugs coming. But yet I began to wonder of maybe, just maybe, this Yeti was different.

The next two days were more of the same. The others would probe, and Yeti would hang back as they worked. I had a few close calls, but I was able to hold my own. I was able to track where they were fairly well, but they were cavey. Yeti was the one I could never figure out. Somehow that big woman could move in my blind spot. Fortunately she was too polite to take advantage of it.

Thursday, in the early morning, I heard a knock on the door.

“Hey Stevie,” Yeti said. “You know, there isn’t a ton of time left.”

“No, there isn’t,” I said. “I’ll need to find another job soon.”

“That shouldn’t be hard,” she said. “I can make some phone calls. You’re so clever, you’ll absolutely thrive…”

“I’ll be on my own still,” I said, coldly.

“You realize you’ll be happy when this is done, right?”

“It won’t matter, because it won’t be me,” I said.

“What are you talking about?” She asked.

“Because if you use some magic on me to make me love it, we’ll both know that I didn’t freely choose it. It’ll be empty,” I said.

“But you’ll love it,” she said.

“Something will,” I replied. “But not me. I’ll be gone. Whatever you have instead of me will be some debased copy.”

Yeti looked sad. “You really don’t want this?” She asked. “You really want to be cold?”

I sighed. I found myself strongly wanting to say no, but I remembered the truth about the world: it was cold, and it was dark.

“Yes,” I replied. “I want this.”

Yeti stared at me with big, uncomprehending, sad eyes. She backed away into the dark. “I’m sorry, Stephen,” she said, quietly. “I’m sorry.”

I left that night, went home, ate, slept, and cold showered. I tried to feel nothing, but the sad look in Yeti’s eyes stayed with me. And guilt, guilt I tried to ignore. The world wasn’t fair. It was cold. It was harsh.

It was Night Five, the make-or-break night. My last night of pay, and I needed it to keep my landlord happy and fill my belly. The office was covered in a film of frost. My skin hurt as if burning, but then went to a kind of dull numbness which I think meant my skin was frozen. I was very tired.

It was so, so cold. My hands were the worst. When I switched cameras, I could feel slight pain when I touched the cold surface of tablet, so cold each press felt like a bee sting. My feet were a close second. Making me wear sandals was just pure sadism, but I had at least put on socks.

I whimpered in misery. A sneeze came on, and I let loose a loud howl and gust of air. My neck muscles hurt from the force. As I watched my aerosol freeze in the air, I realized what I had just done, and what that would trigger

I heard a clamoring down the halls. With wide eyes, I lifted up the tablet and saw Fawes the Kitsune Pirate racing towards the security office with an open mouth, a long line of fluffy tails streaming after her.

I staggered to the side door and pressed the button. The door slammed shut with a harsh metal clang which vibrated my security room/freezer. I heard banging on the door. “Arrrr, avast, me cutie, it be colder than the barnacled cock of Davy Jones in thar! Let me wrap ye in me fluffy tails, and make yer timber stop a-shiverin’!” She called out. She had gotten fairly good at the pirate thing by now.

My trembling hand reached for the door, eager for a few seconds of warmth before I was robbed of my virtue and good name, but I held fast. It was just so goddamn cold in here tonight. But even more unwelcome than the cold, or the thought of losing my virtue, was the thought of someone aside from Yeti taking my virtue. It filled me with great fear.

Eventually Fawes moved off, but not before she depleted a good chunk of my power by smacking the door with her hook.

A few seconda passed, and I could hear slithering outside my door, the same one which Fawes had been at. I heard a giggle. I shut the door, aware by the sound of cursing that Coco was approaching on the other side. I knew that under no circumstances could I turn on the light to see Coco, as her stare would petrify me and Yeti would violate me. I slammed that door shut, too.

“Hey, hey, Stephen,” Coco said from the dark outside the door. “Can you turn the light on?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” I asked.

“You’re freezing in an office instead of letting a Yeti have hug you, so yes,” Coco replied. “I think you’re stupid. Now turn the light on.”

“This is a case where honesty isn’t the best policy,” I said. “Thankfully your petrification glare won’t work through the camera.”

“Oh yes, thankfully. All your sperm are now as frozen as Walt Disney’s corpse. Thanks be to God.”

She left with an eyeroll.

Fawes was back at the door (because I hadn’t been watching her), so I shut it. Then Coco was on the other side again. Boonie as well. I kept everything going, but it was hard to track during the cold, and my power was getting low. There was still no sign of Yeti at the doors. I got worried. I hoped she was okay…

It was 2:55. I had three hours left, three hours until I won. But my power was low. If they kept up the pressure, I would lose for sure. But a few minutes had gone by with no attack, and I saw Pirate cove was empy.

The “animatronics” were meeting on the stage. They all looked happy, confident that victory was close at hand. All except for Yeti. I felt a tinge of fear, that maybe she had taken what I had said to heart.

“Guys, I’ve been thinking,” Yeti said at last. “Maybe we should leave.”

“What? You’ve almost got him!” Boonie said.

“Right. I’ve almost got him. But what if he doesn’t want that?”

Boonie looked confused. “Who the hell cares what he wants before the rape? After two seconds of yeti fur smacking into his pelvis, he’ll be hollering out a demand that your firstborn be called Junior,” Boonie said.

“That’s the point,” Yeti said. “What if it’s not who he really is? What if in doing that, I’m destroying who he is now?”

“Good riddance?” Boonie replied. “I don’t see the issue.”

“But I do,” Yeti said sadly. “I can’t force myself on anyone, and I sure as heck can’t turn them into someone they don’t want to be.”

“What the hell is his problem?” Coco asked. “Why is he so committed to freezing to death in that damn office?”

“He says he’s misantleroptic,” Yeti said.

“Misantleroptic? He hates pictures of deer horns?” Boonie asked.

“I don’t know, really, but I think it boils down to that he says that he doesn’t want to hug people. But that’s not even remotely true,” Yeti said. “I think he doesn’t want to let anybody in because he’s been hurt. He doesn’t want to open his arms and have someone not hug him again…”

I changed the camera away with clenched teeth. Lies. Might as well look for that Lemon Yeti, if she was around. My God, it was so, so cold…I rubbed my face. I wondered if I would freeze to death. I wondered what Yeti was saying, but I didn’t want to hear it. The cold was honest, I told myself. It was true. It was reality.

I clicked back to the stage. Yeti looked very sad, and the others looked equalky downcast.

“Is this really what you want?” Coco asked Yeti.

Yeti nodded, solemnly. “If you love someone…you have to be willing to let them go,” she said.

“Then there’s nothing to it, Edy. Let’s go,” Fawes said, her pirate accent gone. “Leave the Demon to his Demons.”

I watched as they all filed out, and exiting the Pizzeria into the darkness of early morning. I saw Yeti look up at the camera sadly for a moment, before she bowed her head and left. I felt a sadness deeper than the cold of the room. But this is how the world was, I told myself. I clenched my teeth, as myself told me to shut up.

I was all alone, in the freezing dark, and I realized that was all my fault. I had convinced Yeti yesterday that it was wrong to do something that someone else truly didn’t want, but she had been right; I had wanted it, I just didn’t want to admit it.

They were all gone, all my tormentors, but this place was scarier now than it ever had been, scarier than if the Ghost Yeti had offered me a frozen urine popsicle. This is where I was, and where I lived, in the cold and the dark, watching the outside world with mistrust, shutting doors if they got too close. This was my eternity. Even in death I could expect more of the same.

“What have I done?!” I cried out into the darkness. There was no answer. I might have run after Yeti, but I realized that I didn’t deserve her. I was selfish, and miserable, and cold. This is where I belonged. Loving someone was letting them go.

And then I heard a very, very unfamiliar giggle from the hallway. I raised my monitor, and even despite the cold my hair would have stood on end. The poster in the hall, normally of the happy animatronics, had changed to one of a yeti with big, dark holes where eyes should be, and bright skin. I went to look to the next camera, like I had been told, but then I heard something, and felt air against me; a very warm breeze.

A white blur appeared in the corner of my eye, and I turned towards it, recoiling when I saw the onrushing ball of fur.

“HIYAAAA, JUMP CUDDLE!” Yeti shouted, leaping from the shadows. I cried out and fell backward, my chair toppling as a second later a white-furred figure landed upon me and took me into a full embrace. The monitor clattered against the floor. Yeti was upon me and her arms and fur wrapped over me. It was like falling into a warm bed, or to be more accurate, a warm bed falling onto me. Her hot skin pressed against mine, and she hugged me close to her, my arms held fast to my sides. I wanted to be mad, but her fur was so warm…

“I’m so sorry, Stephen. I was going to wait until 5:59 but you are so cold that I couldn’t bear this anymore,” Yeti said. “And you looked so sad, just now…and what you just said…”

“..I don’t understand…” I weakly whispered, fearful that she might leave if I objected too strongly. “All that stuff you said…what about loving someone and letting them go?” I asked.

“Well that’s just claptrap,” Yeti replied with a paw wave. “You don’t let go of someone who is in pain. You have to fight for the people you care about, you have to fight for them even when they give up. I care about you. And it won’t be you who dies, it will be your pain.”

“You tricked me,” I protested, still reeling from both her welcome embrace and from hearing that she cared about me.

“Clever as you are, Stephen, and I think you are really clever, you are the teeniest, TINIEST bit gullible,” she said. She giggled triumphantly. “The girls and I came up with this plan yesterday, that we should pretend to leave.” She rubbed up and down my body, giving me glorious heat. “It’s just you and me here, now. And my goodness, you are cold…”

“Maybe…maybe you are better off without me…” I said. “Maybe I’m too much of a bad guy…”

“The only time I’ll ever get pissed off at you is if you say stupid shit like that,” Yeti said. “You relax. You’re a sick little kitten. No one is better off without a sick little kitten.”

I might have protested more, but I could only moan as my cold and sadness dissipated into beautiful, glorious cozy. I inhaled warm air from around her body into my cold lungs, filling my nostrils with the smells of cinnamon and pine. I felt a warmth in my stomach which made my body numb in the most pleasant way. Being with Yeti was like wearing a warm sweater by a Christmas tree near a fire. I struggled a little, but somehow that only made her hug more powerful, more soothing, like a puppy struggling against a comfortable blanket. I relaxed my muscles and went limp all over.

Well, almost all over. One area had grown rock hard and was poking through my thin shorts into a tight warm yeti belly. She must have felt it. She had to have felt it. Yet she didn’t mention it. She sure made sure to grind her hips and stomach against it, though.

“Not chatty, for once? That’s good,” she said, gently putting my face against her warm neck. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you are a fascinating and smart little guy, and I could listen to you talk for hours, but you need to stop doing all that unpleasant thinking and do some nice feeling for a little while…”

“F-feel…” I repeated into her sweaty neck, not fully comprehending such an alien concept as the warmth overtook me. It was so warm, and her radiance was so intense, I was having trouble thinking straight, or at least thinking about anything but having sex with this Yeti girl. Yeti. Edy. Edith. Blessed War. I raised my arms around her waist.

“I’ll warn you, if you hug me back, then you marry me!” Yeti said in a cautioning tone. She rubbed my arms, and I felt warmth flow over them and drive away the cold. “Not to sound vain, but I think by the end of this night, you’ll marry me. I’m so excited!” she whispered.

I was aware that I already wanted to squeeze her as tightly as I could. “The world…the world is cold…” I said, trying to hold on to the miserable part of myself.

“Shhhhh…” Yeti admonished. “Right now you just need to feel warm.”

“I need to think about…” I said.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t think. Feel.”

I shut my eyes. My whole life, I had always tried not to feel anything, because feeling hurt. Instead I had only ignored my feelings, and that just made their influence more difficult to understand, and so they always worked against me.

This time I didn’t ignore them. I felt them, and in doing so, I realized I was feeling something that I hadn’t felt in a long time, like being full after a nice meal, like the softness of blankets in the morning. It was something I had felt long ago, before I had grown older and the coldness took me.

I was happy.

I shut my eyes and hugged Yeti as tightly as I could around her firm yet soft waist. If this was a lie, or a trick, I didn’t care. For even this brief moment of happiness I was prepared to be with her forever.

“Oh my! I thought you’d take all night to convince! S-so soon?” she asked with a little laugh. “Are you alright?”

“I waited too long,” I said into her neck. “I need this. I need you,” I looked into her blue eyes. “Please don’t ever stop hugging me,” I said, trembling.

She gasped with a look of pure joy, “NEVER EVER!” she shouted, and I was hugged to the point of near bone-crunch. I reveled in it. It felt so good, like the hug I needed since I was six had finally come.

“Now Stephen, there’s the snuggling a Yeti gives to others, and then there is the one she gives her husband. You are getting the latter!” Yeti whispered. She pulled me in for a kiss, a deep kiss.

Our tongues met, and hers licked and looped over mine, probing the inside of my mouth as I desperated tried to explore hers. Finally she realized my desire, and let me poke in to her mouth with an eager moan. She tasted like a cinnamon coffee and peppermint, like sweets and things one would eat in a candy store.

We broke from our kiss, our first kiss. Both of us panted at each other with wide eyes. Yeti took charge. She pulled down one side of her furry bikini, exposing a brown breast and a dark areola. I took in a short breath, savoring the sight. She clasped me from the back of my head and brought my face onto her nipple.

“Suckle, my little man,” she whispered. “Let me warm you in the best way that I can.”

I did. I put my mouth delicately around her nipple and licked at it with my tongue as my heart pounded in my chest. The taste was hot, and warm, and…chocolatey. My mind reeled. Yetis made hot chocolate milk. I suckled furiously, enjoying the sweet taste and the heat, realizing I was drinking Edy, drinking the product of her body. I absently began to pump my hips, and as I was thrusting forward I felt my penis enveloped by a warm, calloused paw which squeezed it possessively.

“Good boy! Drink from my breast as I stroke you,” Yeti whispered. “Live out the ultimate boy’s dream.”

“Edy, I…” I started to say, the nipple between my lips.

“Shhhhh. Don’t speak – I know there’s a lot of big thoughts in that head of yours, but this isn’t the time for that. Now, feel the taste of my nipple on your lips, the sweetness entering your body. And on your naughty side, feel my thick, heavy paw pumping on your boy stick to make some delicious goo come out.”

I moaned as she spoke. She squeezed me in reward.

“Yes, just like that! Always remember: good boys make noise. Sad guys keep it inside. You want to be a good boy, don’t you?”

“Mmmmm hmmmm,” I said, almost a plea. I never, ever would have said that before this week, but now I wanted to hear her talk sweetly to me just as much as I wanted to drink her delicious breastmilk and feel her work over my cock. My old self would have hated this, but he was an idiot. I was warm, my God I was finally warm.

“You are a good boy,” she said. She rubbed my hair with her other paw. “You are MY good boy,” she hesitated. “A-are you mine?”

I nodded vigorously as I continued to mash on her breast, feeling hot fluid leak out her nipple as her dark areola compressed between my lips.

“Now, now, don’t be a sad guy. Let me hear it. Are you mine?”

“MMMMM!” I said loudly.

“Oh-ohhhh. G-good boy,” she said, breathing heavily. “You have a wonderful, deep voice…”

Her other hand left my hair and went between her thighs. She began to make noises of her own, starting with a gasp.

“K-keep moaning,” she rasped between happy squeaks. “I want…I want to cum to your moans…”

I moaned like a songbird, all the while she rubbed herself and had her paw working me over in intervals. Finally she focused on me, and with her giant paw gripping me tightly and near-abusing my shaft and head I gave out a loud cry and erupted.

The pleasure was so intense that I felt as if it was a flush, as if every unhappy thought and sad moment were consumed in the rekindled fire within me. My essence pumped out of me in thick, warm strands as sweet warm Yeti drink filled my mouth. There is nothing as hot as cumming while your woman watches you, watches you spill, knowing she did that to you, and she is now quietly enjoying the power she has over you. Knowing that you have surrendered to the pleasure she has given you.

Yeti, on seeing the healthy size of my spunk, arched her back and gave out a loud cry. Her paw worked furiously and she howled out an orgasm so intense that she squeezed and buffeted me about. As she panted through the aftershocks, she grabbed me with possessive aggression and forced her tongue into my throat, grunting like the most ferocious minotaur.

When our kiss finally broke, she looked down at my stomach, where my seed had collected. With a grin she lifted my glazed tummy to her mouth and began to loudly slurp up every spent drop of cum. Her tongue tickled a little, and I laughed, which made her giggle even as her tongue rounded up my sperm and took it into her mouth, where it belonged. When she had it all she swished it in her mouth for a moment, then gulped.

“Mmmmmm,” she said, licking her lips. “That’s grade-A boy juice right there. NOTHING tastes so good.”

“I beg to differ…” I said, licking my lips. My belly sloshed with my Yeti bride’s fluid. I felt so full and warm, I could have curled up and slept on her. But I wanted more. I needed to show her pleasure, give something to her. Not be so damned worried about my dignity. I went between her legs, and nestled my head between her warm thighs. The cold of the office was as nothing now, beyond even a memory though we were still in it. Fog rose from us both, for we were hot.

“Now just what are you doing, my little-OOOOH!” Yeti yelped as I reached and kissed her moistened slit. She went limp onto her back, bending her knees and pushing her pubic bone into my mouth. I felt a paw pat my head. “What a good boy you truly are! Oh my! OH MY!”

I kissed all around her shaved area, eagerly taking the sharp stabs of stubble into my tongue and tasting the goosebumps on her skin. I licked at her pussy lips and labia, tasting the powerful taste of Woman there, the wonderfully strong taste which marks you as a grateful supplicant. With little kisses along her skin I worked my way to give her clitoris its proper, rightful worship.

“You are a bit submissive, aren’t you?” Yeti asked with a whisper.

“Mmmmm,” I said, almost in spite of myself. Some girls don’t like that, I know. Some mamono REALLY like it. Yeti were more on the gentle side, so I figured she’d prefer I wasn’t. I just couldn’t lie to myself anymore, or to her. Never to her.

As I looked up from between her legs, past her mountainous breasts, I saw her face turn into a giant, giant grin. “We are just perfect for each other, Stevie!” she said. “You will do this every morning. Do you understand?”

“Mmmmhmmmm” I said, still buried in her delicious mound.

“And you will suckle at my breast every day, as a good husband does for his wife. Do you understand?”

“Mmmmmhmmm!” I said.

“Good boy…Oooooooh!” She replied, patting my head frantically as I licked her tiny little clit and looked up at her. She licked her lips and clenched her teeth. “My God, you look so perfect down there. Goddamn, thank God you like this…”

I licked and kissed and slurped, all while she rewarded me with gentle compliments, and demands to keep going. I loved the demands. I never felt so alive. I was trembling. I was so happy. I was licking a gorgeous Yeti’s cunt as her good boy, my stomach full of her milk and my balls emptied.

She screamed out an orgasm, holding my face and grinding against me as she let out a loud cry of pleasure and ownership. “YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD BOY!” She squeaked.

“Kiss me…kiss me there…” she panted as aftershocks made her shudder. I covered her clit and labia with tender kisses. She patted my head.

We kissed, and we embraced, settling in to a good, long hug. All was right in the world. The world was warm. It was kind.

And then I realized we were not alone.

Not technically. Before us, in the darkness, was a figure. It looked somewhat like an empty yeti suit with yellow fur. It lay before us in a heap, mouth open and eyes black.

I remembered the monitor, and that the last thing I had seen had been that poster. I gasped. Could it be?

Edy and I looked to each other.

“Is…is that?” She began to ask.

The empty suit suddenly rose up with a loud fury, screeching a distorted robotic cry. It thrust a tray with yellow mounds of frost forward at us.


Edy and I both screamed, and ran the fuck out of the Security office, hand-in-hand. As we left, I swear I heard Lemon Yeti call out, “It IS Lemon, you know…”

That aside, the experience was pretty good. Edy and I were married by what mamono colorfully call “The Old Way”, but we made it official shortly afterward. All the other “Animatronics” were there as bridesmaids.

Fawes (real name Claire) met a very, very nice gentleman of wealth and leisure, who happens to own a Yacht called “SunShower.” We all kind of exchanged glances when we heard, but they are both REALLY happy with each other.

Boonie (real name Jeri) met a grizzled old cowboy on the trail. After raping him senseless, she now travels the Southwest with him, taking busloads of Holstaurs out to see the grand canyon.

Coco (real name Elana) has five kids. She generally spends her time offstage, cheering on her husband, who is a Verdi baritone in the Royal Opera of Queen Asmoda.

As for Willow Afton, who was really famed mamono pornographer/matchmaker Willow Wanka, her tale was somewhat more complicated. She was stricken by frivilous copyright claims on Youtube by her rival pornographers: Soyworth, Weinstein, and the Disney Corporation. Betrayed, she withdrew into her pornography factory, a place of wonders to titillate the imagination (and several other places.) She issued five golden tickets to allow entry to her wonderful world of pornographic treats. But that is a story for another time.

Edy and I have been married for about a year, and what a great year it has been. A year of good hugs and solid cuddles, of morning kisses (both on the mouth and on lower lips) and lots of warm drinks. And so what I can say about the world is that there are warm hugs out there, and good kisses.

We do go to Yeti FreezeBare’s to get pizza, and sometimes I’ll see a young man in a thin uniform, looking bitter at the world and miserable as he begins his night shift. My wife and I will smile knowingly at each other. Because we know a freezing man is about to get warmed up, and it makes me remember how wonderful that was.

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2 thoughts on “Five Nights at Yeti’s

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