Azathoth CYOA Resurrect – Part 5

“Excuse me, Orson, I gotta take this,” you say, pointing to the phone.

The GravitasMind nods graciously, then begins sampling some wine from a box while Mushroom Lolis drizzle frozen peas into his mouth.

“Hello?” You ask, putting your invisible phone to your ear.

“Hi Boss, I just wanted to tell you-” Nyarlathotep begins.

“Who is this?” You ask, despite having read the caller ID two seconds ago and having recognized the voice.

“It’s Nyarl,” he answers quickly. “Hey, so were you talking to someone just now?”

“Aren’t I usually?” You ask.

“N…not as such, Boss,” he says. “You tend to speak to inanimate objects a lot. But I think this time it’s a person, and I think this guy might be attempting to manipulate you.”

“Me?!” You ask. You narrow your eyes and assess the GravitasMind. He looks pretty sedentary. He reminds you of the docile cows you used to kill to summon Chorts. “You think so?”

“Is he trying to convince you to isekai Firmus Piett?”

“I don’t remember the name,” you say. “It’s somebody who makes Beer Stew…”

Nyarlathotep clears his throat. “Bear Stew. Yeah, it’s him. Look, Thrawn’s working with him. He’s important to Bea’s Decorative Universe. You can’t just go summoning him willy nilly-“

“Is his Bear Stew good?” You ask.

“It’s alright. It has sentimental value. He makes it with love.”

“Ooooo…” you say. “Love is good in food…

“Boss, I think you may want to consider this one carefully..” Nyarl says.

“Nyarl, I want to get my rocks off. It feels like it’s been three years since I started this damn quest to plow my cosmic shadow bride. I want Emily in a good mood tonight. Would this help?”

“…eh…” he says.

“Really?” You ask.

“It might. It depends on what Firmus Piett does. Pulling him here is going to upset whatever he’s doing.”

“What is he doing?”

“He just won a victory over some soybeings and had a few of our Mad Lads gangrape an enemy fleet,” Nyarlathotep says. “He probably will be picking a new mission soon and doing some research. There are some fun adventures ahead…”

“Unless I pull him here?” You ask. “But we could always send him back.”

“You could, yes. If you pull him here, he’s going to have to make a Bear Stew for you. At least, I assume?”

“Yes,” you say. “If I don’t go with him, my other option is this nice Italian meal…”

“Emily would like that. It’s an old standby,” Nyarl says. “The Piett Bear Stew will knock her socks off if he does it right. But Bea could get upset if Firmus doesn’t return.”

“I, the Daemon Sultan, will put him back exactly where he left,” you say. “…unless his Bear Stew ruins my night.”

The GravitasMind smiles widely as you say this. He thinks that is a good idea.

“Alright Boss, I’ll orient to whatever you wanna do. You want to isekai Firmus Piett or not?” Nyarl asms.

How about it, Ag? You want to have Firmus Piett make a Bear Stew, or go with the classical Italian meal from the GravitasMind?



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8 thoughts on “Azathoth CYOA Resurrect – Part 5

  1. Ehhh, Italian is definitely more romantic. Stew is great and all, but probably not the best choice for priming Emily’s… uh… whatever the cosmos embodied calls her lady bits

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stay with the Italian food. Mushroom in hand leads to two pairs of globular objects also in hand. That’s how the saying goes, right? Save the stew for Bea’s party!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The gravitas is fucking both with us and Bea’s pet universe. That takes balls. We should go visit Fermius for a bowl and brew with Emily for another date night. Gravitas and the loli’s need help don’t they? Let’s get Rash, Zitz, and Pimple to “help” him in the kitchen.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Stick with the Italian Papal-Pasta war. Isekaing Firmus might result in another Paradox and quite frankly, fuck that. My heart can’t take another chapter of crying Loli-Thisbee

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “It feels like it’s been three years since I started this damn quest to plow my cosmic shadow bride.” Even the mighty Azathoth is weak infront of the Great Writer.

    Liked by 1 person

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