The First Date Part 2 of 3, (Femdom, Ushi Oni)

Peter climbed down from the loading dock, and Margot peered up over his shirt collar like a tank commander. He tottered across the parking lot, his legs rubbery and his knees shaking, as he walked towards the Ushi Oni.

Her legs moved like the fingers of a large hand, strangely silent given her size. Each was sharpened, and as the sidewalk was not wide enough for her she walked down the road. No car would dare try to hit her.

“I think she’s going to hurt me,” Peter said, less with fear than nervous resignation.

“It’ll be fine,” Margot reassured him, watching the Ushi Oni closely.

“She has an axe,” Peter added, stopping in his tracks. “Is that blood on it?”

Margot looked at the heavy metal blade, dripping with black fluid. “Probably Molochites, your planet is crap lousy with those perverts.”

“What if she thinks I’m one of them?”

“Unless you’ve eaten a Haitian girl’s pancreas on a yacht owned by a Hollywood Executive, I think you are okay,” Margot said.

With a sigh, Peter carried on, walking like a Halfling toward Mount Doom. Though he was still a hundred yards away, the Ushi Oni took notice of him. She stopped in her tracks, lifting her head and narrowing her eyes as her nostrils flared. She turned, like a turret or automaton, the spikes at the tips of her muscular spider-legs stabbing silently into the ground.

She turned to face Peter, who walked towards her unsteadily.

“She sees me,” Peter said, his voice trembling. “God, she’s so beautiful and classy. Is…is it even worth going near her?”

Margot lifted her head and took a good look at the mighty spider woman. Though Ushi Oni were spiders, people often forgot that they were bovines also, but now Margot saw it clearly. The Ushi Oni, on seeing Peter in his nervous approach, had begun to stamp at the ground as a minotaur might, dragging her front left leg along the asphalt in preparation for a charge. And though her spiked leg casually moved along the road, the tar moved as if it were mud, digging up in a divot that revealed the immense power in her form. In her eyes, Margot could see the fires of rape.

Oh my God, Margot thought to herself. This Ushi Oni was going to breed Peter into the hospital. Margot had an image of the sweet, vulnerable young man flattened like a pancake. The Ushi Oni was not just interested, she had already claimed him.

“I-is she mad?” Peter asked timidly.

“N-no, she’s not mad,” Margot said. “She’s, ah…”

“Should I do a peanut jig?”

“No. No,” Margot said emphatically. “Do not do a peanut jig. Wait here for a moment.”

“Where are you going?” Peter asked.

The little fairy flew off his shoulder, fluttering in the air. “Don’t move. I need to just talk to her for a second, to um…see if she’s dating anyone. It’s hard to tell.”

Peter nodded. “D-don’t tell her what a mess I am,” he said, clearing his throat.

“Not to worry, Peter, I’m going to just make a few discrete inquiries,” Margot said.

Margot flew over to the Ushi Oni, who had put down her axe and was getting ready to charge. As the spider cowgirl saw the fairy approach, her eye narrowed.

“Hi there!” Margot said cheerily. “My name’s Margot, Margot Lupercal…”

“Is that your brother?” The Ushi Oni asked, cutting Margot off. Her voice vibrated with desire.

“No, but-”

“You are not his wife, for you are married to the WarMaster. This cute, nervous boy has approached me, and so the laws give me leave to take him. Therefore, I claim him by the ancient rite. I shall hear his cries, and have his seed to give me a brood.”

“Now just hang on,” Margot said. “I’m not his sister, but I am his relationship aide, and so I have the chaperoning of him during this period. What’s your name, by the way?”

“I am Cyranna, the Scourge of Moldavia, the Sorrow of Carpathia,” the Ushi Oni answered. She bowed her head in a gesture of respect. “You have done well bringing him to me. I shall leave you a 5 star review.”

“Aw, that’s nice of you,” Margot said with a smile. “But I’m not quite done. You see, Peter is a bit fragile.”

“Peter…that is a nice name. But you do him a disservice to say he is fragile: he looks quite sturdy to me.”

“I don’t mean ‘fragile’ physically, I mean romantically. He’s had some bad experiences with women.”

“Oh, the poor thing…” Cyranna said in a voice with surprising tenderness.

“Yes, and so he needs a good boost of confidence and self esteem.”

“I shall call him a stallion, then, when I thrust down on him,” Cyranna said. “And I shall call him a stallion until he sleeps peacefully under my weight.”

“I’m thinking maybe – just to start, mind you – that you go a bit, you know, easy on him,” Margot said.

Cyranna blinked her one dark eye at Margot but said nothing. The concept of going easy on a male was utterly foreign to her. “So I can’t sleep with him?”

“Well you can, but I’d like you to be nice to him first.”

Cyranna frowned. “That is being nice to him. Boys like being emptied.”

“They sure do, but you need to build up to that with Peter. Be gentle with him, you see. Talk to him.”

“Talk? What about? What does one say to a boy?” Cyranna asked, utterly confused by the concept.

Margot thought to herself, and to what her own husband spoke about. “Well, they like talking about Mankind, and Chaos, and…um, Galactic Crusades, and the Necessity of Change,” Margot replied. “And the corruption and degradation of the Imperium.”

“Oh, I can do that,” Cyranna said. Her shoulders relaxed. Margot suppressed a smile. The big girl was nervous, which was adorable in its way. “So I need to be delicate?”

“Just a bit. He needs some time to get used to you,” Margot said.

Cyranna nodded. She narrowed her visible eye and stared at Peter with a predator’s wide grin. Her nostrils flared, and she licked her lips. “Very well, I shall be good and kind to this succulent little Peter. And when he is nice and soothed, I shall rape him into a coma.”

Margot smiled. “Yes, perfect!” She exclaimed. “Now I’ll go back, and he’ll ask you on a date tonight.”

“What’s a date?” Cyranna asked.

“It’s a kind of quaint custom on this world, by which a man goes to great lengths in an attempt to provide a girl with an enjoyable evening, all for the hope of doing it again.”

Cyranna’s eye widened and she smiled. “Does that mean he’s going to lick my-”

“No no no. It’s nonsexual. Like talking or eating, or such. So he’s going to ask you on one.”

“Okay, what do I do when he asks?” Cyranna asked, her visible eye darting.

“Well, if you like his suggestion, then you say yes. If you don’t, then you can suggest something else.”

“Huh, like a dialogue? Between a man and a woman?” She said this last bit and was astonished.

“Precisely. The Humans here started having dialogues between the sexes, right before their world almost blew itself up.”

“How perverse. Well, I’ll give it a try…” Cyranna said.

“Fantastic! Just play it cool; don’t let him know I told you this,” Margot said. “He’s very proud, and he doesn’t want a pity date.”

“Well that’s adorable. It won’t be a pity date, I promise,” Cyranna said. She bit her lip and growled. “It’s so cute to see a boy being all prideful, especially a nervous one. Makes me want to pull his pants down and squeeze his cock until it gets swollen and squirts…”

Margot flew back to Peter’s shoulder as Cyranna continued mentally molesting poor Peter into a public orgasm.

“Okay,” Margot whispered as she landed on Peter’s shoulder. “She’s not seeing anyone, and she says she’ll talk to you.”

Peter exhaled nervously. “She’s not going to throw a flaming drink in my face?”

“No.”

“Or slap me?”

“No.”

“Or scream rape until a bouncer ambushes me from behind and chokes me out?”

“Did that happen?”

“Not to me, but to my buddy Karloff,” Peter said. “He’s living in the woods now, off-grid.”

“Well, that won’t happen, either. Although remind me: I’ll need to ask you for Karloff’s address,” Margot answered. She pointed her finger forward like a commanding general. “Now, onward! Go get a date with that spider cow woman, Pete!”

Peter approached Cyranna, who was still obviously entranced at the thought of raping him. As he breathed, her eye focused upon him, and Peter froze in his tracks. Like any predator, Cyranna saw his fear, and it aroused her. Peter had no conception of what situation he was in, Margot knew. Not only was he guaranteed a ‘yes’ answer at this point, he was guaranteed that if he said ‘no’, it would fall on deaf ears. And yet paradoxically, that put the whole project of getting a date in jeopardy.

Margot tapped Peter gently on the neck. “It’s okay,” she whispered, as if to a horse. “Go on.”

Peter stepped forward, and Cyranna’s eye brightened. Her countenance seemed to rejuvenate Peter and give him will, and he moved forward the last few steps before her eagerly. She towered over him, a mass of womanhood on a spider’s body, her tits out proudly in the sun, eye level with him. Peter stared at them with wide eyes, utterly conquered by their primal feminine power. Margot, on his shoulder, could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“Speak,” the fairy whispered.

“Hi,” Peter said, haltingly. “I’m Peter…”

“Hi Peter, my name is Cyranna,” Cyranna said, in a tone so sweet that Margot might have guessed she was a unicorn and not a massive rape-spider. “You wished to speak to me?”

Peter smiled at her a moment, clearly reveling in hearing the large Ushi Oni speak his name. “Cyranna…” he repeated, entranced. His tone and look were such that the big spider cowgirl actually got some redness in her cheeks.

“Ah, er…” Peter said after a long stare, and a poke from Margot. He blinked rapidly, and rubbed his palms against his pant legs. “Y-you really are quite…wait, let me start over. I’ve seen you walking past my shop every day…well, it’s not my shop, I guess. It belongs to Mister Tophat, who really is a nice guy, even if he had cameras in the bathroom until we all threatened to quit. Um, that sounds creepier than it should. Anyways, I, ah…”

Cyranna blinked at him. “Yes?” She prompted, in a gentle voice.

“Well, I’ve seen you walking back and forth down the road, and I just think you are really pretty, and I like you…” he said. He winced at his awkwardness, although clearly Cyranna was drinking in his nervousness like a vampire drinks in virgin blood. “I was wondering if you might like to…” he searched for an activity. “…go see a movie with me?”

Cyranna smiled widely, and her face was radiant. Her eye sparkled. Peter wobbled on his feet, totally overwhelmed by her expression. “That sounds great. I’d love to see a movie with you,” she said. “What movie shall we see?”

Peter’s smile faded. He clearly had not thought this through to the most obvious follow-up question. “Uh…uh well, I’d need to check…” he pulled out his phone from his back pocket (because he was one of those people) and unlocked it with a trembling hand, but the poor lad fumbled, and it fell to the ground and hit the tar.

Peter made a move to pick it up, but beneath the imposing form of Cyranna, he stopped halfway. Seeing him crouch had aroused her (it wasn’t particularly hard for a nervous boy to arouse an Ushi Oni), but to poor Peter she appeared to be staring down on him with disapproval.

In his mind, a replay of a hundred traumatic dating experiences played out: instances of failure spurned by a wrongly spoken word, an ill-timed laugh, an unfortunate stumble. It was all coming back to him, and it seemed that this moment was doomed to be another in a string of embarrassing, soul-killing moments where dignity shit its pants and went to Delaware to eat ice cream. His stress increased, and Peter’s Resolve was tested…

It did not go well.

“Uh…uh…PEANUT JIG! PEANUT JIG!” He screamed, and before Margot could stop him, or Cyranna could process what was going on, he began to go into a spirited peanut jig of his own, thrusting his palms into the face of the spider cow as he spastically wiggled his torso and shook his legs.

Had the skies reddened with tomato sauce and pasta fallen from the heavens, it would not have equaled the spaghetti billowing forth at that moment. It was so amazingly cringe-inducing that it achieved a kind of magnificent grandeur, an act so powered by desperate autism that it became an almost primal war dance of sperging, a taunt and declaration of nerdoid pride and culture into a world of judging judges.

Margot opened her mouth to speak, to plead with Peter, and the heavens, to stop this madness, but Cyranna acted first. After assessing the situation, the mighty warrior woman determined that the best course of action was to mimic what Peter did. She also began to do a PEANUT JIG of her own, stamping her feet and leaving divots in the tar and concrete as she put her hands out and around, into Peter’s face. The event of the two of them doing a peanut jig was heartwarming, but Margot knew no stomach could take watching this sight for more than a few seconds.

Now, most corporations and government offices had been leveled when the portals opened, and the lands turned into tenant farms. And so it was that Margot saw a passing crofter in a horse-drawn carriage heading down the street toward the peanut jiggers. The old English peasant looked at the display of the nerd and topless spiderwoman doing a dance from Smiling Friends, clutched his chest, and toppled into the street. Despite the foam coming from his mouth, Margot knew he was in no danger, provided she ended this jig soon.

Margot took the time to recover Peter’s phone, which now had another crack in it, and with hand presses against the giant screen she navigated to GrimFandango dot com. After scrolling though several popups informing her how the website was named for the greatest adventure game of all time (which objectively wasn’t true), she found the showtimes.

“I have the movie showtimes,” Margot announced. This, as always expected, drew their attention, and the two stopped their jig and looked down at her. In the distance, the crofter stopped having a seizure, remounted his carriage, and with a clicking of his tongue, was on his way again.

“Here’s one: *Eye of Argon* is playing at the AMC up the road,” Margot said. “You can go see the new adaptation. It says it’s been ‘updated’ and ‘made relevant to today’s audiences’.”

“Oh, that was nice of them,” Cyranna said innocently. “But I hope they stayed true to the Author’s vision.”

“Of course they did. What kind of assholes would change an Author’s vision for a story in their adaptation?”

Margot wasn’t quite sure why, but Peter winced. “Great!” He said with as forced a smile as she had ever seen. “What time does it start?”

“It’s starts at one o’clock.”

Peter sighed, taking his phone back off the ground. “Well, I do have to finish work. Let me check if there a later showing-”

“Take the rest of the day off!” Mister Tophat shouted, bursting out from behind a stack of garbage cans. Everyone jumped back, shrinking away from the energetic gentleman.

“Mister Tophat, how did you get there so fast?” Margot cried.

“When two or three gather to PEANUT JIG, I shall be with them,” Mister Tophat said with a benevolent smile. “So please, take the day off, Peter. Just make sure to take off your hat during the show, and head to the lobby to get some concessions.”

“As it happens, I get popcorn for free at AMC because I’m a shareholder,” Peter said, puffing out his chest.

“Ah, capital! I got my start buying GameStop. I bankrupted a hedge fund…” Mister Tophat said with a wistful sigh. “Anyway, have fun! Be good to him, large spider woman…”

Cyranna smiled, and after hefting her axe back onto her shoulder, she took Peter’s arm with her other hand. “We’ll have a wonderful time, and he’ll be back and ready for work in two or three weeks.”

Peter laughed. “Cyranna, you are a kidder,” he said, patting her arm. He looked to Margot. “Well Margot, I guess I am okay?”

Margot smiled. “You’ll do fine,” she said. “Just remember: you got yourself this far. You don’t need to be nervous.”

Peter exhaled. “Yeah, um…” he said, looking to Cyranna. “It might surprise you, but I was kind of nervous about approaching you.”

Cyranna feigned shock. “Really? You didn’t seem nervous as all…” she lied, giving a casual wink to Margot. At least, Margot guessed that she winked, but she used the eye that was behind the bandage.

“Anyways,” Peter said, and his face was earnest and sincere. “Thank you for your help, Margot.”

Margot smiled, and blushed. “Go have fun, Petey! You’ll do fine.”

As Peter turned away, Cyranna lingered half a step, and leaning down she looked Mister Tophat dead in the eyes.

“I wasn’t kidding,” she whispered, her voice polite yet with an ominous growl in it. “He’ll be back in the office in three weeks.”

Mister Tophat started, his hat bouncing on his head a little. He took off his monocle and polished it with a shaking hand. Cyranna turned on her spider legs, and walked away with her new beau, arm in arm.

Margot and Mister Tophat watched the tall spiderwoman and her smaller nerd boyfriend walk off down the street, the Ushi still hefting her axe. Despite the size difference, they looked very complimentary to each other, like two pieces that complete a puzzle. Margot sighed contentedly.

“They’ll be a good couple. You’ve done a good job, Miss Margot,” Mister Tophat said.

“Thank you Mister Tophat,” she said. She cast her eyes over to him eagerly. “So…about the tour…”

“Oh? Yes, of course! Let’s head inside for that,” He said.

“And,” she asked hopefully. “The lollipop?”

“Certainly!” He said cheerily. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out the long-sought after lollipop. He handed it outward to her, the great candy orb atop a white paper stick.

Margot took the giant candy treat in her hands, wielding it like a two-handed mallet. She pulled off the cellophane wrapper and attacked the large sphere of candy with feverish licks. Each influx of sugar made her wings flap at a thousand beats per second, and her heart thundered. She needed to go home and find her hubby, and get him to give her a few licks like this. She watched as Peter walked off, waving to him cheerfully as she held the lollipop at her hip like an ax.

* * *

Peter looked back at Margot, and gave her a smile and a thumbs up, then looked up at Cyranna as he walked forward on numb legs. Wow, was she elegant. And nice, and sweet. He hoped he didn’t screw up like he almost did when he dropped his phone. He had gotten the date with a girl who was impossibly too good for him, but the date was just beginning.

He hoped, if he played his card right, he might get a kiss when the date ended.

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4 thoughts on “The First Date Part 2 of 3, (Femdom, Ushi Oni)

  1. Cyranna trying to wrap her head around having a conversation, rather than getting right into the action was quite amusing. Definitely looking forward to reading part 3 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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